When Sharon and I were girls, there was nothing more exciting than going to lunch with Dad. It didn’t happen too often, but when it did, it was special. Dad always took me to a place called the Hot Spot in Doylestown (that was more our place) and Sharon to a Chinese restaurant called Hong Kong Sunny’s that was owned by a parishioner.
No matter the meal, it was our time with him. Our time with Dad. Where Dad would really check in and ask us about our lives and what was going on. It was so special. I still remember how important I felt that my Dad, an adult, cared to spend two uninterrupted hours with me. Looking back on it, I’m sure it was a lot of boring elementary and high school talk about clicks, girls, “stupid” teachers who didn’t understand. But Dad sat there and nodded his head in understanding, offering sage advice. I felt like I was an adult sitting across from him and telling him my problems.
After high school I went to college, then I moved to England for many years and then a stint in Africa. There weren’t many lunch dates. I’ve been back for over a year, but now we live in New York. I can’t complain – I see Mom and Dad a lot. At least once every two weeks if not more, but it’s still rare that I get one-on-one with Dad. I miss The Hot Spot.
But this past weekend Mom and Dad came to New York City. Mom had an event to attend, so Dad and I had the afternoon to ourselves. For the first time in a while, Dad and I got to spend some quality time together. We went for a walk around the reservoir in Central Park and then had lunch together at Pulino’s Bar and Grill. Fifteen years later, not much had changed. I did most of the talking, he did most of the listening. And afterwards, I felt better. The only difference was that we were eating posh pizza and salads at Pulino’s, not Chicken Parm Grinders from The Hot Spot. Oh, and we were able to split a beer.
I don’t know how I will be as a parent some day, but I know one thing: when I have children, I will make it a priority every so often to take each one out for lunch. For a kid, it doesn’t get much better.
It’s a sweet story, Maggy. Most of us get so caught up in the daily routine we forget to make time for special moments. I was about to say that one-on-one time with a child is very important, but the fact is, one-on-one time in all of our relationships is important.
My daughter is now the mother of teenagers and we still schedule regular lunches together. It’s a great habit to form when your kids are young.
My father, deceased at 90+ was the main cook in our house. On special occaisions he made papa’s beef stroganoff and we anxiously awaited the next time when he would deem it a special occaision and begin simmering the meat and the wine and when the mushrooms and sour cream made their appearance we knew qe were about to eat!
He cooked for big crowds of firemen at the fire house where he was stationed. He went into the fire house at age 16 and drove a team of horses on The fire truck and when he was 62 he retired as the last of the iron horsemen.
Superb, Sarah. We’d love to hear more stories like that! Come fall maybe you’d consider sharing his beef stroganoff recipe with us?
How wonderful, Maggy, to be able to spend such one on one time with your father. I envy you! I am sure your father treasures his time with you.
Thanks for the reminder to “date” our kids, Maggy. Loved your story.
Wonderful story! My parents used to do the same thing. Shopping with Mom, movies with Dad. Also my mom was the main gift giver and if we got a present it was assumed it was from both of them even though she picked it out (and sometimes he didn’t see it until we unwrapped it), but every Christmas my dad would go out and buy us each a gift that HE picked out that my mom knew nothing about. We were always excited to see what it was that he found for us.
My oldest is finishing his last day of kindergarten next week and I have an entire special afternoon planned for just the two of us, no little brother allowed! I love looking for ways to create lasting memories for my boys in the crazy hectic life we lead!
inspiring story and commentary for us new mommies! thanks, maggy xoxo
It’s not only special for the kids; it’s special for the parents, too. I enjoyed one-on-one time with my daughters when they were young. I enjoy it even more now that they’re adults.
It’s important to take this kind of time out to be with our dad’s. It’s especially nice to remember back to how things used to be when we were kids and see how far we’ve come as adults. Here’s to you and your dad and all the father’s out there celebrating father’s day. Hugs and kisses to you and your family,
Brooke