I was supposed to have been at the Tales of the Cocktail conference in New Orleans this week. It wasn’t until the day before take-off I realized I had only reserved—not booked—my $200 flight. The new price of cocktail enlightenment was now $1024.
Reminds me of Albert Brooks in Defending Your Life. As he’s reviewed for entry into heaven, he is credited with only one courageous act on earth: upgrading to first class (to the tune of $6,000 he doesn’t have) when he discovers he’s been assigned a middle seat in coach to China. Wish I could have said, “Screw it, I’m going.”
But I didn’t. So instead of sipping fresh fruit breakfast martinis yesterday morning, I’m perusing the Washington Post food section. A Pina Colada article catches my attention. It seemed like my kind of cocktail—simple, clean, straightforward, made with booze I really use and ingredients I theoretically have.
Here’s the recipe for 4: blend 12 ounces fresh pineapple puree, 4 ounces white rhum agricole (no such thing at the PA state store–Barcardi would have to do), 4 ounces canned coconut water, and 3 to 4 cups of ice until smooth.
The mix produced a pretty, pale yellow drink, which unfortunately tasted like a weak pineapple smoothie (duh! 1 1/2 cups fresh pineapple puree and 3 cups of ice). The rum was faint, the coconut flavor practically undetectable.
I don’t need more than one, but if I’m having a cocktail I want it to kick my kisser. And I don’t want the calories of three weak drinks when one will do. I went into my culinary “fix it” mode. The mission: develop a pina colada in martini form. A pina-tini!
Forget prissy pineapple puree. I went for the potency of juice, which I mixed in varying ratios with rum and: coconut water, coconut juice, coconut milk, cream of coconut, and pina colada mix.
Of the five mixers, light, clear coconut juice offered just enough sweetness to balance the pineapple juice but not so much the drink tasted like dessert. Here’s my take.
Is it too late to change my last meal to fish tacos and Pina-tinis?! Man, I am ruminating on death and finality and you two are running off to the Caribbean without me! Guess I missed the “We’re Still On Vacation in Our Minds” memo.
Mama, it sounds like you’ve perfected yet another Anderson family cocktail classic a la the Mary Pickford. I think your changes are inspired. Blended drinks are a pain to make and they waste no time in melting into sweet, watery oblivion by the third sip. The Pina-tini seems lighter, fresher, and a little classier (you know I’m a sucker for anything served in a martini glass). Because as much as I love sucking down Pina Colada-flavored slush out of a souvenir hurricane glass, there’s a time and a place for that and I’m reasonably sure it’s called Carnival Cruise Lines.
I read through your tasting notes and I think you’re spot on–not too sweet, a nice coconut-pineapple balance, and a good, hard kick of rum. I can’t wait to drink this.
The big question is: does Dad like it? Will Andy? We gotta keep winning the men over, one girlie drink at a time.
Your new cocktail reminds me of our old cruising days circa 2000. As an underage teen, I dreamed of sipping one of those frozen drinks on the lido deck. All I really wanted was weak slush puppy—no more than 2 tablespoons of rum and more importantly, something with an umbrella in it. Your potent pina packs a punch!
Call me tacky, but on occasion, I like a frozen drink. Is there a way to preserve the drink’s flavor and potency and add a little iciness? Could you blend in frozen pineapple? I understand the diluting effects of ice, but what about frozen bananas? I use them in my smoothies with great success. That could add another flavor dimension—optional of course, or for the really hot day. Either way, I’ll take mine with an umbrella, please.
“kick my kisser” – what a perfect way to put it! Can’t wait to sample more cocktails in NYC. Love the new blog, and getting to virtually know your daughters too