I’ve always known my mother was strong. She can carry four boxes when others carry two. She can cut up a whole chicken in sixty seconds flat, will work longer and harder than women half her age. And when you’ve sat down to take a break, she’ll still be going. She can take command of a borderline out-of-control situation and keep her calm when it reaches a boiling point.
She’s built a career based on her passion and during this thirty-year journey, many people have told her no. Yet she has always found a way to make it a yes. In addition to her career, she was essentially a stay-at-home-mom when we were young and has become a super-engaged friend-like mom as we’ve grown older. She’s also been the wife of my father for thirty-five years, and if you’ve ever known a pastor’s wife, you know it takes a superwoman to do that job with grace and blessing.
She’s not squeamish, shy, or easily embarrassed. She’ll talk to you about anything. But she’s strong enough to take it from fluff-talk to real-talk the minute you shy away from reality. She’ll give the solid, sagely, and brutally honest advice of a woman who has boldly lived a life based in faith, truth, and integrity.
I am always wildly proud of how strong she is because I know that I (Taurus Maggy) get so much of who I am from her. Thank goodness for that.
But in the past few weeks my mother has shown her strength in ways that I have not seen in my thirty years as her daughter. She has shown her strength in ways that I’d never wish to see, but sometimes life gets harder than you thought it could, would, or should. Mom is an only child, and both her parents are in failing health. My grandmother has cancer and has been beaten down pretty badly by the chemo (then two weeks ago she fell and broke her pelvis), and my grandfather has slipped into Alzheimers so rapidly it has stunned us. As I write this, my grandfather is clinging to life in an ICU unit. When word came of his swift turn for the worse, mom got on a plane and headed once again to Florida. In the midst of a demanding career, she has somehow found the strength to be a devoted daughter—but I don’t know how.
Most Mother’s Day we’d get together and cook a wonderful meal and celebrate the woman she is and the women she has taught Sharon and me to be. But we won’t be able to do it that way this year, even though now is when she needs it most. My wish for her is that we could help alleviate the stresses of the past few weeks. I’d want her to sleep in, go to yoga, and enjoy a lovingly prepared meal. I’d want to go for a walk in the early evening with her, enjoy a glass of wine on the deck, and laugh carelessly as we stood and watched dinner cook on the grill.
But that won’t happen this year. Because when others have stepped out and said they’ve had enough, she will still be going strong, putting her head down, and getting through all this. This time will pass, as the ups and downs of life always do. And we’ll be there for all of it. Because that’s what families do. And we will ultimately take a long, deep breath and create a moment to celebrate the rock that she is for us and so many others.
Like last Mother’s Day, we partnered with KitchenAid on their Mother’s Day ‘Cook for the Cure’ program, this time featuring their Flamingo Pink handmixer and our wildly dreamy Chocolate-Coconut Cupcakes. When we created these cupcakes a couple weeks ago, I had every intention of writing a lighthearted post about our wonderful mother to accompany the recipe, but I’m glad I wrote this one. Because I know there are a lot of folks out there who will have a tough time this Mother’s Day for any number of reasons. And this year we are one of those families.
- 1½ cups all-purpose flour
- ¾ teaspoon baking soda
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ cup, plus ⅓ cup unsweetened cocoa divided
- ½ cup boiling water
- ⅓ cup sour cream
- ¾ teaspoon vanilla extract
- 12 tablespoons butter, softened
- 1½ cups sugar
- 3 large eggs, at room temperature
- 1 can (13.5 ounces) regular (not light) coconut milk, fat and liquid separated
- ⅓ confectioners sugar
- ¼ teaspoon coconut extract
- 1 drop red food coloring
- ½ cup sweetened flaked coconut
- Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with cupcake papers; spray with vegetable cooking spray.
- Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside. Measure ½ cup cocoa in a medium bowl. Whisk in water to form a smooth thick paste. Stir in sour cream and vanilla; set aside.
- With a hand mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Starting and ending with dry ingredients, alternate adding chocolate mixture and flour, beating until each is thoroughly incorporated.
- Evenly divide batter among prepared muffin cups. Bake until fully set, about 20 minutes. Remove from oven, let cupcakes stand a couple of minutes; turn onto a wire rack to cool.
- Meanwhile, with a hand mixer, beat coconut milk fat with a hand mixer, beat in confectioner’s sugar and remaining ⅓ cup cocoa powder, and coconut extract until light and fluffy, Beat in coconut milk liquid, 1 tablespoon at a time, to desired consistency. Thoroughly mix food coloring and coconut until coconut is evenly pale pink. Frost cup cakes and then sprinkle with coconut. Serve.
Beautiful Maggy – You truly do have a gem of a mom (and she 2 fabulous daughters). My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this trying time. xo
I am so sorry to hear this Maggy. Keeping your grandparents and your whole family in my thoughts and hoping for the best.
Only thoughts of love and compassion for you and your family. Stay strong for your mom…she’ll be needing all of you more than ever now. Strong as she is, what she is going through will test her strength like nothing else. I recently lost both of my parents and it seems the grief will never let up. The only thing softening the blow right now is the love and support of my family. Thankfully for your mom, she has you, your sister and dad. Sending many hugs and prayers to you all…
Sorry to hear this Maggy, both my parents have Alzheimer’s…I left them with their blessings to come to the states 13 years ago and they were both fine and sharp as tacks. Now it’s a very different scenario, hugs!
I am sorry to hear about the news and sending good vibes and positive energy your way. And your cupcakes look amazing! 🙂
Sending lots of love and hugs. Wish I could do more.
I am so sorry Maggy. Prayers with you guys. Your mother is wonderful and I love hearing about the great relationship you have.
Oh, Maggie, I’m so sorry to hear. I spoke to your mom the last night of the conference and she said she was headed to Florida to check in on her dad. I’m so sorry it’s taking a turn for the worse. Sending big hugs and love to all of you. Your mom is lucky to have such an incredible support! xo
Things happen for a reason. Even this difficult moments are there to teach us valuable life lessons, no matter how tough. I am so sorry your family is going through this, Maggy. But Pam, you’re a beautiful person and I know you will overcome this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all in these times. Sending hugs and smiles. Thanks for sharing a great recipe and a heartwarming story. Happy Mother’s Day!
Maggy- sending all of you millions of hugs and as much strength and love that I can muster up. So sorry…
This post really hit close to home Maggy. We lost my grandfather rather quickly last year to congestive heart failure and my bubbe’s alzheimers has gotten to the point where she barely knows who we are. I am always so amazed by my mom’s strength during the hardest times.
Thinking about you guys during this time and sending love, healing, and prayers this mother’s day.
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. I’m saying extra prayers for your grandparents and for your family at this trying time.
A very moving tribute to your Mom!!!!
KitchenAid couldn’t be more proud to partner with you this Mother’s Day, and the people behind the brand send you hugs and good thoughts. Thank you for the very moving post that will help a lot of people cope this Mother’s Day. xo
-Rachel
Dear Maggy,
I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you, your incredible mom and your family. As your t-shirt reads “Nothing but love” which is what I’m sending and wishing for all of you. The solace comes from from knowing that love and strength surrounds and permeates endlessly from all of you and it will get you through this difficult time.
GIGANTIC HUGS for all of you.
All my love,
Jackie
Mother’s Day has always been a combination of highs and lows. My own mother died when I was 28 so it’s been a sad reminder but greater than that reminder has been enjoying that day with my own children. It is evident of the very special place your mom holds in your heart…she will feel that no matter where she is in that moment, I just know it.
Maggy, I’m sorry to hear about this tough time for your family. Not only is it a great post for those who are also having a hard Mother’s Day but it is also a great post to remind those of us who have an easy one that we should not take it for granted and truly enjoy it. I know you are strong women in this family! Hugs and kisses!! …and let me know when you have time to catch up. I have news to share. 😉
ay, maggy. your dad and mom have been in touch so i knew what was happening but this is a moving and heartfelt tribute to your mom, who needs to hear this just now. having been there myself, i know that you can be strong for so long and then, you are just a child again, without parents. having you and sharon and your dad are not only her best legacy but her best gifts!
Maggie, I actually have tears in my eyes right now. I’m a mom to a 3 year old, and I hope someday that she’ll write something as amazing as this about me. It’s the perfect Mothers Day present to your mom.
My heartfelt prayers are with you and your family. Your post brought tears. I lost my parents a few years ago, and it’s still hard to this day. Enjoy every day you have with them. Sending you all hugs.
This was beautiful and made me cry like a baby. Your family is in my prayers. xo
You and your family give so very much to the world.
We thank you and our thoughts and hopes are with you now.
Reading this in 2017. Wow, what beautifully written words. Your mom has obviously raised amazing women. You acknowledging what’s she’s done and letting her know she has successfully accomplished raising you both with beauty, wisdom and love by reading this post, is the best gift any mother can receive. I hope you’re grandparents are now comfortable and at peace. May God continue to bless your family forever. Oh yes….Thanks for the recipes!