I tend to approach big special meals like a small-time event planner. I think it comes from my former catering days. A frequent dream: It’s an hour before the party. I haven’t bought the food and can’t find the car keys. I find the keys, but the car won’t start. Then I realize it doesn’t matter, because (have I lost my glasses?) I can’t see clearly enough to drive. Just as I’m about to face the consequences of my irresponsibility and bad fortune, I wake up.
I’ve always figured the fear in these anxiety dreams is what makes me “successful” in my waking life. This past Easter weekend, however, I let things slide a little… and whadya know. It went very well.
With Maggy and Andy in New York, Sharon and Tony in New Haven, and David and me forty-five minutes smack in the middle, it’s pretty easy for us to gather. This was our first holiday weekend, the six of us. I wanted to make it memorable.
I approached the weekend menus with my usual precision. Fresh tuna kebabs our first night (my answer to Good Friday and Maggy’s excitement to grill in the sunshine!). I scheduled Sharon and Tony’s Olive Oil and Honey Drizzled Chocolate Chip Pancake debut for Saturday morning (check out the recipe on Sharon’s post last Friday).
I put bean burgers on the lunch menu, along with Maggy’s onion rings (another winning recipe on this site). Still full from pancakes, however, no one was up for a gut-filling lunch.
I’m pretty sure there was a time when I would have fried up those onion rings and burgers and, like an Italian grandmother, forced everyone sit down and eat. Instead we all snacked at different times and found a way to connect throughout the day without sitting down to another big meal.
Saturday night was the late-night Easter Vigil, so I prepared a meal of hors d’oeuvres for us to enjoy before heading off. I bumped onion rings to that night’s hors d’oeuvres. What would have been a lead-belly lunch side became the evening’s most popular nibble.
It was a late night on Saturday. There was a time I would have gotten up and delivered a picture-perfect Easter. Instead, I slept in. We warmed up Saturday night’s ham biscuits and transformed asparagus crudite into a frittata. No one missed the hot cross buns.
After an especially hard winter we were grateful on this glorious Easter morning. It was warm enough to sit outside, so we lingered at the breakfast table. Sunday’s roast lamb lunch never got made either. We were happy feasting on Saturday night’s uneaten hors d’oeuvres.
The croquembouche we were supposed to take to my sister-in-law’s for Sunday afternoon dessert didn’t get made either. Instead, there were strawberries that needed eating and a crumble topping tucked away in the freezer, which came together quite simply and beautifully.
Come to think of it, it’s been awhile since I’ve had one of those anxiety dreams. I’d like to think my let-it-be-havior has something to do with it. Maybe it works both ways.
I can certainly relate to your post! For too long, I considered such things “failures,” instead of “flexibility.” The ability to adapt to realities is a skill that I developed late, but it has made my life less stressful (and less guilt-ridden, too, by the way!)
Great post. On vacation at my daughters and cooking up a storm. Tonight it’s rib-eye with onion and blue cheese sauce :)! Diet starts when I get home. Have cut back on what I planned for the very same reasons
Yes, this Easter was wonderful. So laid back and relaxed. No one cared that we didn’t have a sit-down Easter lunch. You were worried dad would be disappointed when he returned from his last Easter Sunday service, but he was…dare I say…relieved? He was exhausted and about ready to crash. I much prefer the way we spent our day – on the deck, in the sun, with our feet up and enjoying leftovers.
Even though we blew off Easter lunch, I’d say we have a special family meal at least once every couple weeks, so I think we can excuse ourselves from tradition every so often.
Why is this so hard for me? You would think, after years of experience, I would know that part 2 is ALWAYS “prepare to deviate”. But it still surprises me when my careful plan starts to fall apart, and I have to adapt.
Luckily, the years of experience have taught me how to improvise, and once I get over the short burst of “why isn’t everything working the way I want it to”, my brain starts working again and I can think on my feet. But still….
Someday, I hope to be able to go through a weekend like the one above, which sounds wonderful, and not stress out when I realize my plan is not holding together.
OK, here’s my anxiety dream. I’m in second grade, I’ve overslept, I’m late for school where there is a BIG TEST TODAY and I can find any clothes, realize I have to go to school anyway, and set off, kind of running from one spot behind a hedge in the neighborhood to another….whew!
What a confirmation to read your 1) Make plan, 2) Prepare to deviate blog entry. We were so busy with Easter activities/responsibilities that, when we came home, we chose the simple route. I had shopped for a nice maple glazed ham (with all the goodies) menu but we didn’t end up having it until the Tuesday after. It made Sunday more relaxed and we enjoyed our sit down dinner even more later. Thanks for sharing your experiences and terrific recipes!
For years my husband has said “lets just do something simple” and I’d get my feathers ruffled – I embraced the plan and prep – but then would be exhausted and edgy and not enjoy the event. And when I had a simply had to change my plan due to circumstances similar to your blog entry – I found I enjoyed the company more and the meal was just as good as one I detailed to the nth degree. I’ll be learning to be flexible until I’m one hundred – but the journey’s worth it!
What a confirmation to read your 1) Make plan, 2) Prepare to deviate blog entry. We were so busy with Easter activities/responsibilities that, when we came home, we chose the simple route. I had shopped for a nice maple glazed ham (with all the goodies) menu but we didn’t end up having it until the Tuesday after. It made Sunday more relaxed and we enjoyed our sit down dinner even more later. Thanks for sharing your experiences and terrific recipes!
I can certainly relate to your post! For too long, I considered such things “failures,” instead of “flexibility.” The ability to adapt to realities is a skill that I developed late, but it has made my life less stressful (and less guilt-ridden, too, by the way!)
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