Since Sharon loves Indian food, I prepared a special meal for her birthday a few days ago. As I was pulling the spices down from the cupboard —cardamom pods, saffron, garam masala, turmeric, cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, cumin—I thought, “This is not a meal I would have thought to request, and even if I had, my mother would have treated it the same way she would have responded if I had suggested we all practice yoga instead of going to church.” Most of us didn’t even know we liked Indian food forty years ago. There were neither recipes nor ingredients.
There’s a lot my mother couldn’t get. On the other hand, there’s a lot she didn’t have to worry about. She couldn’t have imagined . . .
Aqua M&Ms, anorexia, arugula, asparagus (year round), Atkins, Baby carrots, bagels, balsamic vinegar, bioengineered food, biscotti, basmati rice, bittersweet chocolate, boneless skinless chicken breasts, bottled water, bread machines, brie, bulimia, California Pizza Kitchens, calamari, capers, celebrity chefs, cholesterol, cilantro, Cinnabun, coffee beans, convection cooking, couscous, Diet coke, digital scales, dried cranberries, E. Coli, energy drinks, extra-virgin olive oil, Farmer’s markets, farm-raised seafood, fat-free, foccacia, food blogs, Food Network, food warehouses, free-range, fresh pasta, functional foods, Garam Masala, Garden Burgers, gas grills, goat cheese, granola, green tea, gym memberships, Home chefs, Hot Pockets, Internet recipes, Internet grocery shopping, Jenny Craig, juice boxes, Kalamata olives, kiwi, kosher salt, Lactose intolerant, latte, life-style change, low-carb, Microwaves, microbrews, microplanes, mixed baby greens, morbid obesity, Newman’s Own, nut allergies, Nutella, Oenophilia, organic,100-calorie snacks, 1X, Pampered Chef, Parmeggiano Reggiano, pasta shapes, peeled garlic, Perrier, pesto, pho, pine nuts, polenta, pork tenderloin, professional home kitchens, prosciutto, prosecco, Quinoa, Ramen Noodles, recycling, refrigerated mashed potatoes, rice cookers, rice milk, rotisserie chickens, Saffron, salmonella, salsa, sea salt, smoothies, sorbet, soy products, spiral-cut hams, Splenda, Starbucks, sun-dried tomatoes, super-sizing, sushi, Thai chili paste, Tirimisu, turkey sausage,12-grain bread, Udon noodles, Vegetable cooking spray, vegans, Wasabi, Weight Watchers, white peaches, Whole Foods, wild mushrooms, wine, wonton wrappers, wraps, Yogurt, yellow bell peppers, Zip-lock bags.
The blessings of “progress” are all the same these days: more choices. Choice is the coveted sister of affluence, and compared with our parents, we’re all rolling in it. We have 24/7/365 access to whatever we want. We love our farm-raised shrimp from Thailand and factory-farmed pork from Canada. We feed year round on what were once seasonal delicacies—tomatoes, asparagus, and strawberries. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are as simple as hitting the drive-thru and rolling down the window.
Is this better than Mom’s world? Of course it is. And then of course it isn’t. The more convenient, abundant, and accessible our food, the more obese (bulimic, anorexic) and unhealthy we’ve become.
I wish for a world where most of our vegetables and livestock were locally grown, where we were less dependent on manufactured foods, but I can’t imagine a world without my perfectly picked-over, reasonably priced, pasteurized lump crabmeat from Southeast Asia.
Unfortunately we can’t have it both ways.
Reading over this list, it strikes me that very few of these things seem like an improvement. Certainly, I’m excited by the availability of good parmigiano, basmati rice, brie, capers, wonton wrappers, foccacia, polenta, Thai chili paste, wild mushrooms, and wasabi. But, I’d venture a guess that I could probably live in a world with just the old school M & M colors. Beyond that, it seems like convenience, weight loss, and just plain crappy food prevail.
Living in a world where just about everyone I know is into food, it seems impossible that this could be true. I don’t know anyone who regularly eats Cinnabon, 100-calorie packs, or Nutrisystem meals. I think (erroneously) that everyone is aware of—even if they aren’t incensed about—bio-engineering and factory farming. And I definitely don’t know anyone who orders their groceries online. Who would sacrifice the chance to pick out the most perfect produce, select the freshest-looking meat, or chose the milk with the latest expiration date?
But, I did my first adult living-on-my-own food shop the other day, and damn, it was an incredibly insistent wake-up call. I spent forever trying to decide if I could afford Kashi granola bars over Quaker ones (Kashi won out because the list of ingredients on the back of the Quaker box was longer than my senior thesis). I mused in front of the canned tomatoes wanting Fire-Roasted Muir Glen, but ultimately settling for Nature’s Promise (Stop & Shop’s organic brand.) I went with Columbo yogurt instead of Fage or Chobani (it was MUCH cheaper and there was so much more of it!) I sprung for organic cage-free eggs, but I couldn’t even face the sticker shock on the meat I would want to eat, so I didn’t buy any at all. And I might have shed a single tear as I reverently placed a $16 bottle of olive oil in my cart.
I bought breakfast food, some lunch options, and very few things that could be made into dinner and the damage? $160. I almost had a heart attack—that’s like ¼ of my monthly rent.
I used to secretly judge people whose carts were full of boxes and bags of processed food and generic brands, but that’s because I never had to pay for it week after week. An hour of shopping and I was exhausted—compromising my food morals and making those kind of judgment calls really took it out of me. I have never been faced with this question: If I buy the food I want to put in my body, will I be able to pay my bills?
Mom, this piece couldn’t be more relevant to my life right now. Except I’m not comparing our world of abundance to the 1950’s. When I read this I thought of where I am now, rural Africa where most people eat the same thing few things, day in and day out. Yes, there are financial constraints that prevent variety, but there simply isn’t that much choice even if the money was there.
However, there’s been an exciting development. The biggest, most exciting thing to happen to Chisala in a long time is a traveling market that will now be coming to this village once a week on a Friday. The small “trading centre” as they call it usually sell three things: tomatoes, onions and usipa (oo-see-pa) these small, dried fish I just can’t stand. There might be a cabbage or leafy green on occasion, but this is rare. And the four small shops (which are mud huts) sell fizzy drinks, soy pieces, raw peanuts, beans and rice. This is about it. This travelling market will not only bring new vegetables to the area such as green beans, peas, potatoes, garlic, spinach and maybe even bread flour(!), it will also bring used clothes and other knick-knacks that are for sale.
I must admit, I’m having difficulty with the lack of options even though we are lucky enough to drive to town once a week to do some of our food shopping. We are afforded a few more luxuries and a bit more choice because of this, but still, compared to a supermarket, pickins’ are slim. Each day I look at the contents of my kitchen and see the same basic ingredients, something starting with pasta, rice or bread. Something with tomatoes and onions, maybe eggs. But it’s amazing how creative you can get with just a few ingredients. Last night we thought we were doomed to peanut butter sandwiches; there really wasn’t anything ‘dinner-worthy’ left, we’d been defeated. Then I had a moment of determination – “No,” I thought, “I will not have peanut butter sandwiches for dinner!” I crushed some garlic, chopped up a couple red onions and sautéed them. I steamed the wilting spinach I’d found behind the pasta. Then I boiled some pasta which I cooked and drained (leaving some pasta water) and added a knob of butter. I added the buttery pasta to the sautéed garlic and onion and added the steamed spinach. Hey, it wasn’t Martha Stewart, but it wasn’t bad. Tonight we’re having eggplant and onion omletes (no cheese). Weird combo, but I bet it works.
If we’d been in the UK or the US, I would have taken one look at my kitchen and promptly turned around, grabbed Andy and my coat and headed out for dinner. But when you live in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t such a thing as a restaurant for miles, you must either be cool with a simple PB (no &J) sandwich or take what limited choices you have and run with it. The results are always edible and often surprisingly good. Lesson #8,543 I hope to take back with me from this experience of living in Malawi.
What an amazing contrast between Pam’s list, Sharon’s shopping, and Maggie’s simplicity. BYW, I have heard that if you are trying to lose weight, simple is the way to go: eliminate so many choices. It really makes sense.
I have played the compromise game at the grocery store many times as I give and take price for quality, Sharon. I appreciate your honesty.
Maggie, your creativity with just a few ingredients is inspiring! I should shop in my own freeezer once in a while.
Pam, I really read everything on your list. I must have been raised at the same time! Oh, and could you add Trader Joe’s?
Thanks for your blog, ladies! I enjoy your writing!
I made Super Easy Chicken Korma last night for my family. coriander, cardamom, ginger, cinnamon — loved the spices. When I asked everyone if they liked it, Luke said, “Come on, Mom. You know it’s awesome — you got the recipe from Aunt Pam”! This one’s a keeper — thanks and keep ’em comin’!
Susan
I adore Thanksgiving because I have been living with a brain tumor and every year I am here it’s one more reason to be so thankful to be with my family {especially my daughter!}
Hey Marlene! Great answer, would you mind re-posting your beautiful reply in the actual giveaway post so everyone can see it? (And so we don’t miss it when we’re choosing a winner?)
I was longing for something new for dinner tonight, and I think I’ve hit the jackpot with this recipe! I’m off to the store for the ingredients I don’t have. Thanks Pam! I’ll let you know how it turns out, (we all know what a challenge cooking is for me, the non-chef. I think my family would die of food boredom if it weren’t for yous!)