I am not an expensive girl.
I don’t own a single piece of jewelry or pair of shoes over 100 bucks (except maybe my hi-tech running shoes). I’m not a fan of pricey, delicate blooms like orchids or roses, but prefer the hearty stems and unrefined brightness of sunflowers. Nine nights out of ten, I’d choose a really good pub over a swanky lounge. And on an average day, I can go from showered to chic in under 15 minutes.
Achingly low budget aside, my personality typically precludes me from ordering something like oysters on the half shell served over ice and flanked by various delicate sauces (not to mention the customary champagne to wash it down). But last week, I learned a whole different way to eat oysters—one that’s way more up my alley.
Midway through a lazy beach day down in South Carolina, Anthony’s Dad (also named Anthony, but who goes by Tony) rounded us up and drove to a small roadside stand. Seafood from a shack off the main drag? I was skeptical. But Tony assured me the catch was top-notch.
No sooner had we gotten out of the car, than the proprietor—a local character called ‘Barnacle Bill’—came running out to greet us. Tony cut to the chase, avoiding the “specials” and “fish of the day,” and beelined it to the shellfish case. He pointed out a huge box of oysters and said, “I’ll take that…for 50 bucks.” Barnacle Bill scoffed and said, “Seventy-five.” To which Tony replied, “Fifty.” Bill came down to sixty-five, then sixty, and then finally met Tony at his outrageously low price. But Tony wasn’t satisfied, he said, “Throw in that half box over there and I’ll still take it for $50.” Barnacle Bill tried to refuse, but to no avail. So, we walked away with 8 or 10 dozen oysters for the bargain basement price of 50 bucks. But what were we going to do with all these oysters?!
At home, Tony fired up the Weber and popped the cork on some sparkling wine—no time to change out of our bathing suits. Dozen by sweet, briny dozen, he threw them on the grill until they just began to open (or ‘smile,’ as he put it.) As soon as he took each batch of oysters off the grill, we were on them, holding them like hot cakes in paper towels and jacking them open with butter knives. We dashed them with a little hot sauce or a squeeze of lemon and gulped them down, burning our fingers and lips on the shells…though we hardly noticed our injuries. We managed to get a few open raw, and they were salty, slick and tender perfection.
There was nothing pretentious about this oyster feast. There were way too many to be shy or proper, they were coming off the grill faster than we could eat them, and they were so hot that we were shouting expletives left and right as we fumbled them open with dull utensils—half naked in our bathing suits, no less. And, when we were hot and sweaty, but incredibly satisfied, we took a lazy, refreshing dip in the pool.
Forget white table clothes, crisp napkins, and attentive waiters—a fast-paced, all-out, interactive, seafood fest…now that is how I like to eat oysters.
Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I love Tony’s dad already. He sounds like my kind of guy. And what a wonderful way to have dinner on a beach vacation. Standing around the grill, enjoying a cold one and opening hot oysters (burns and all). I gave it a try too and those oysters were delicious. They just sort of slide down your throat. A new favorite.
Oh my, I’ve never had oysters that way but I am sure I would love it! Raw or fried they are already my favorite shellfish. My favorite way to eat them is to have my stepdaughter’s boyfriend bring them to my house (he works for a fish store) and have him shuck them for me! 🙂
Yupper’s :-)! That’s the way! Just wish I was there to enjoy the feed.
Your post brought back childhood memories, Sharon, because that’s exactly how I used to eat oysters as a child. When the mood struck, my Dad and a few friends would go in on a massive burlap bag of Apalachicola oysters and gather on someone’s patio. We’d shuck a few and eat ’em on the half shell. The rest and we’d throw on the grill, cook ’em ’til they popped open and serve with hot sauce and saltine crackers. Great memories and a great reminder that if I can ever get my hands on some cheap oysters I need to do just this.
What a riot! As kids we used to eat clams by the bushel full like that. My family would go to my Uncle’s house and we’d have a Clam Bake by the pool. My family is very large and we’d consume bushels of clams, corn, and other summer delicacies. Of course there would be a bushel of oysters for the adults. If one of us (the kids) were particularly well behaved, then we could have an oyster. It was so much fun. To this day I still could clams that way and have passed the method on to quite a few of my friends. Thanks for the walk down memory lane!
This crack me up! Fresh from the grill is the ONLY way to eat oysters, and I love them that way. We’re cruising in colder Alaskan water now, so it’s crab and prawns and salmon and halibut until September when we’re back south in oyster country. Fresh oysters will help ease the pain of transitioning from living aboard to my winter life ashore.
Absolutely the BEST way to enjoy oysters!!! We have a huge oyster/salmon feed up here in the Pacifc NW at a friends house. All the little kids stand by a Huge open fire with fencing over the top as the “grate” and they shuck the oysters into cast iron pans full of butter, Tiger sauce and sometimes beer or white wine. All the adults stand around with long skewers and grab them out of that pan so fast those porr little kids stay busy!! When they get tired, we just throw the oysters on the grate until they open a bit and eat them like that too! So yummy!
Sharon: Beautiful description of the event! It was truly fun..what a crazy bunch we are!!